Natalia (29), Oleh (9)

Sunday, March 13, 2022, Devin. Day 17 of the war.

On this day I learned that the date as such is not that important. These people are living day by day now, hoping for better and counting the days since the war started. So when I met Natalia, it was the Day 17. I learned this from her as she told me about how she drove 1,600 km alone with her child.

"We came here on the first day of spring - March 1. It was a stressful day, the spring had started, it was beautiful outside, but we had to leave our house and we had to run away. I spent 1,600 km behind the wheel with my child. Driving all the way to Bratislava was very difficult." 

"I'm in contact with my husband. He protects our town. It is possible that he will also have to fight because he's enlisted in the army. So far, he is at home and safe. My parents also stayed at home. I call them every day, they tell me there are constant air alerts. When I wake up, the first thing I do is to call them and ask how they survived the night. Last night I woke up to a text message from my grandmother, who wrote to me that they were sitting in a cellar and bombs were falling down on them. Every morning starts by checking that everyone is fine. I don't want my child to see the war. I am a psychologist myself, and I still work online. In Ukraine, I worked with children with developmental disabilities and special needs, such as autistic kids. I know very well how war can affect the psyche of children, therefore I left." 

"I want to return home as soon as the war is over. There were no explosions at home at the time of our departure, but it was happening all around. Rockets flew over our heads, it was horrible. Many of my friends expected it to end soon. They also fled abroad eventually. As a psychologist, I understand that I must not drown in depression. I have plans for today, tomorrow, for the next week, but I have no plans for the distant future yet. It helps me to keep a diary, it makes me feel much better."

"Children can see things and they understand that there is a war. They have internet access, you can't protect them from it. The mental state of a child depends on the condition his parents are in. Therefore, I would like to advise others on how to communicate with children. Don't panic! Talk to your child, don't shut yourself in. I think art therapy helps the best in this case, let the children draw. Make them busy and talk to them, ask them how they feel. You may admit that you are afraid too, but tell them - together we can do it! I will help you! Support your child! Children can feel things, they understand us, they see everything. When their parents protect them too much, they (the kids) may still find out about what is going on from their environment, from the people they meet, from their friends. It's better for the parents to tell them the truth, this way they can build on their trust!"

"I would like to tell the Russians that they attacked Ukraine because they do not understand us. They think they are saving us, but we had great life without them. As we moved away from Russia, we lived better lives and the country was changing. Not fast, but we went forward! None of us wants to go back and be under the influence of Russia! The Russians must understand that they started it and we will defeat them!"

"I have a cousin in Russia and she thinks everything that is happening is all right. Her mother and grandmother live in Ukraine, and she believes that the Russians are helping and rescuing them."