Lyudmila (73)

April 10, 2022, Pruske. Day 45 of the war.

She greeted me warmly in her room and told me the story of betrayal. Her friend left her alone at the border after which she almost returned home. She was in a foreign country without documents, without money. She lovingly spoke about her family, her sick sister, daughter and granddaughter, who remained in Ukraine. She feels sorry for the Russian soldiers who came to them. She says they didn't know where they were going. She doesn't understand why war is raging in her homeland. 

"The whole sky turned orange from the explosions, when the war started at 4 o'clock in the morning on February 24. I remembered a friend telling me that if we heard anything, it would probably be just a military exercise, so I fell asleep. My son-in-law knocked on my door at 6 o'clock. He stood there with a baby carriage, dressed children, and told me that the war had started. He went to work with them because they had a shelter there.” 

“There was no running water. So I thought I'd go to my sister's, because you can't be without water. I still couldn't believe it, they had been scaring us for so long and nothing had happened. I didn't watch TV, politics is foreign to me, I'm an artist - a designer. I left 3 unwashed plates at home, I took everything we could need from the fridge so me and my sister could survive for a while. I got on the tram, and only on the way to my sister’s, who’s living in the city center, did I realize what was really going on.” 

“They also started bombing the center, the circle around Kharkiv was narrowing. Then a bomb exploded not far from my sisters'. It knocked out her windows, even though she taped them. They turned off the heating and it got very cold. We dressed properly, covered the windows with blankets, bedsheets, with everything possible, and tried to warm up each other in the corner of the room. We were lucky that my sister lived in a house from 1952. During the Stalin era, there had to be a bunker with heavy doors in each house and protection against a nuclear explosion. The bombing intensified. Once I went out to collect the humanitarian aid, and I came under fire. Each of us received 4 pancakes. It was help from Russia. They walked from house to house and guided the missiles to destroy all the necessary infrastructure. Six of us hid in the basement, most people left immediately after the war started. I was there with my sister, a nephew, a neighbour from the second floor and his friend, and another neighbour. There were other bunkers in the area, where other residents of the house and other people from the area hid. They prepared the bunkers well, they had couches, lights, radiators, everything possible to survive there.” 

“I called a friend and she told me that she wanted to leave. We decided to leave together. When we were waiting in Lviv for the train to Uzhhorod, I was so stressed that my legs stopped working. They had to literally drag me to platforms, which were constantly changing. There were incredibly good people in Uzhhorod. They gave us food and took us to the gymnasium, where we slept on mats. My girlfriend started making phone calls in the morning. She told me to stay where I was. I knew something was going on. Volunteers took us to the border, to a pedestrian crossing. They checked our paperwork, and suddenly I saw that Tanya has been taken somewhere and that some people were picking up her things. She told me that she had a family in the Czech Republic and that they were coming to pick her up. When I asked her what would happen to me, she just shrugged and walked on.” 

“I stayed in a refugee camp that consisted of two tents. There was a girl, a student from Kosice. She left me a contact with Father Peter, and the ticket said, "Lyudmila is coming, give her accommodation." I still have the paper with me. She told me that when I come to Kosice, I should show this paper to volunteers. We came to Kosice at night, everyone immediately scattered, and I was left alone again. I noticed a volunteer. He called Dima. I gave him a piece of paper, called the number, and told me to go on the train and get in the last car. It was night, I was on the train, and I didn't know where I was going. I didn't understand anything, I forgot where to perform in stress. Suddenly someone patted me on the shoulder and told me that the next stop was mine. Dima probably asked someone to keep an eye on me. I got off at the next station. It was dark, it was raining, no one was anywhere. After a while, Zuzana appeared and told me that I could not sleep with her because she already had 5 children at home, but that others would help me. So I waited. A male silhouette emerged from the darkness, and I didn't even realize it, and he was already shaking my hand, saying, "My name is Radek.” 

“We entered the house where his mother Darina was waiting for us. She offered me tea, coffee, food, she kept asking if I needed anything. There were sausages, bacon, bread on the table, and I asked, how did I deserve all this? God himself had to help me like this. Darina asked me how I got here, so I told her my story of betrayal. Well, she told me, go wash, go to sleep, and we'll see what happens tomorrow. All sorts of food was on the table in the morning, tangerines, apples, bananas, sandwiches. This woman took great care of me. When she asked me if I knew where to go next, I told her I would go back home, that I did not have a passport, dollars, nor euros. They're bombing us at home, but I have nothing here!” 

“Radek took me back to Kosice. I told the volunteers that I wanted to go home and asked them for an advice on how to get back to Uzhhorod. They rolled their eyes and told me - there is Poland, there is Czech Republic, there is Germany, go wherever you want! They didn't understand that I didn’t want to be alone. I met a woman with two children who also wanted to go home. We went to Michalovce by bus. We saw crowds of people fleeing Ukraine. Still, we wanted to go home. They took us to the border for passenger traffic. We sat there on a bench and waited for someone to drive us by car to Uzhhorod. There was no one willing to take us there!” 

“Volunteers came to us and asked if we had eaten. They took us to the tent and let us eat. Another volunteer arrived, it was Dima again. I told him I wanted to go home. He looked at me blankly. He called his sister, who lives in the bombed area. She asked me if I was crazy. I told her that my friend had left me, that I couldn't imagine to do it all by myself. She replied, "God is her judge, don't go anywhere!" Dima took my phone and said, "The bus leaves at 5 o'clock. It will go to a village where there is a monastery, you will have a place to sleep, you will get a meal. He left to write my name down on the list quickly. I was the last one on it.” 

“He convinced me. I got on the bus, and we arrived at the place at around 10 in the evening. God listened to me, I prayed and I got everything I needed. I have the roof over my head, a warm dry bed, good food. The people who take care of us here ask me 10 times a day if I don't need anything. I am very grateful to them. They also helped me with the cell phone. I immediately called home and told them I had came to a paradise. I wake up to the birds singing, I breathe the mountain air, there are good people here.” 

“I'm very sorry that I can't help the people at home. My sister is sleeping in the bunker, she has stomach cancer. She had her 3rd round of chemotherapy. Fortunately, it seems to be working, she is feeling well. They bombed the local hospital, now the patients have to go to to a place somewhere in the woods in order to get the treatment done, they moved all the important departments into one building. She stays there for 3 hours, and then she goes home. Everything is provided by volunteers. A bomb exploded somewhere near the woods. The windows on the building were shattered. The nurses ran around in fear. My sister was on the 9th floor, and the elevator didn't work. Fortunately, her nephew helped her to get out of the building and then the volunteers took her home. My sister is 3 years older than me. She has been taking care of me all the time ever since my mother died. We have an excellent relationship.” 

“I have the same kind of relationship with my daughter. She was born very late, I was 40 years old. I had problems getting pregnant because I have a rare blood type 0 negative. Fortunately, she was born healthy. She is now 33 years old, and has two children. They stayed in Uzhhorod. They failed to get to Lviv twice because they blew up a bridge, and then there were problems on the railway track. The children ate a kilogram of raw sausages during the trip, they had nothing else to eat. Now they are doing well in Uzhhorod. The older granddaughter is a very successful young sportswoman, she is doing takewondo. She won 2 gold and one bronze medal. My daughter is a world champion in bow shooting. She traveled to 10 countries. She has more than 100 medals. She's on maternity leave now. I told her to come here, but she didn't want to leave her husband. One won't leave without the other. My sister isn’t healthy enough to leave, she used to weigh 90 kg and now only 68 kg.” 

“I don't have anyone in Russia. Intelligence is against the war. Even you can take a few punches, everything is so close. They bomb everything, meat processing plants, gas pipelines. What for? Let the army fight when there is a war. I have a beautiful apartment at home, I just renovated it, I have everything new there. My son-in-law went there to turn off the electricity, to vent the place. I still have windows. He's not so lucky. Their goal is to destroy Kiev, Kharkov and Mariupol. I feel more sorry for the people of Mariupol than our people. They can't leave or hide. They bombed a theatre where people were hiding. All attacks are consciously directed by the Russians. Their young soldiers go through our cities hungry, badly dressed. They have to steal because they have nothing to eat. They steal everything, even gold, if people left it at home. We lived well. Only Moscow, St. Petersburg, Yekaterinburg and a few top thousand people live well in Russia. Everything is developed in those cities, but these soldiers have been taken from afar, from central Russia, where there are no sidewalks, and shops are empty. Such people came to us to fight. I have never made a distinction between Russians and Ukrainians. I'm sorry for them too, they didn't know where they were going. The whole of Europe is helping us. The outcome of the war will be decided in the coming weeks.” 

“I came here on March 11. We went to Trencin to apply for a temporary shelter the very next day. There were a lot of people working all night. People don't sleep in order to help us. I'm happy to be here, but I want to go home! I miss my family, especially my older granddaughter. Fortunately, my daughter's husband can work from Uzhhorod and provide for his family. Everything became very expensive there. There will be a famine soon. Potatoes used to cost 15 - 16 hryvnia per bag, today it costs 500 hryvnia at some places.” 

“I devoted myself to design, we had a weaving workshop and also a shoe factory at home. Right now, my scholars were about to exhibit shoes in Milan. We sat at home because of the quarantine for two years and now there is a war. Flags are sewn instead of shoes. Everyone supports Ukraine. I don't know what we did to deserve this war. We have little gas, no oil at all, we only have access to the sea. Russians have everything. Gas, oil, and the sea.”