Julia (39)

May 8, 2022, Zilina. Day 73 of war. 

Fear that what happened in Mariupol would repeat in Odessa had driven her to flee her homeland. She hesitated for a long time, wanted to stay, but the fear was stronger. She had slept all afternoon, exhausted from the long journey she had only made the day before. She drove for 20 hours herself. When she woke up, she started telling me her story, interrupted by crying. She knows she has to get up and get a job as soon as possible. To support herself and her retired mother with which she came to us. 

“You can't help it crying. Right now, I read that Odessa faces the same fate as Mariupol. The entire Russian fleet and the evil Russians are preparing to level the city with the ground. They're still shooting at us, firing rockets. Everybody who could have left. I hope that the second Mariupol will not be happening! Today, 10 rockets flew to our city.” 

“I worked in a shoe repair shop in Odessa. I had a husband, an apartment, a cottage, a garden. We managed to prepare the garden for the spring, plant something, clean the dry leaves and grass after the winter. But I had to let it go, I'll see what happens. We lived quite well, even though we had to work hard. Odessa is a seaside city with beautiful beaches. But now you can't swim or walk there, everything is mined, even the sea. If we have nowhere to return to, we will learn to live here. We only came here yesterday. We drove for more than 20 hours. There are passport controls in every city like those the border. I was in a hurry, I wanted to get to safety quickly. Now we can sleep peacefully and we know that we will definitely wake up. Only my mom and I came here. I'm divorcing my husband, he left to Greece with our son two months ago. We are in contact and I hope to be able to visit them soon. The worst thing is to watch the news. They haven't bombarded us so much so far, it all started now. For example, there were 11 air raid alarms in Odessa today, and the day is not over. You learn where the missiles fell, what the damage is. Nobody understands why they shoot at residential areas or production halls where furniture is made. After all, they can't even tidy up at home, and now they've decided to make order here. We will have to rebuild everything.” 

“I have acquaintances in Voronezh. We used to talk normally, but now... they're influenced by television. As if they had their heads buried in the ground so they wouldn't have to see anything. How is it possible that one state wants to decide how the other should live? There are also normal people in Russia, but there are few of them and they can't do anything because it's too dangerous for them. Although dictator Lukashenko is not directly involved in the war, Russian troops are firing missiles from their territory, he allowed it all.” 

“Praise the Lord that nothing happened to us. One blast was close to us, everything in the apartment was bouncing and shaking. We hoped nothing would hit us. Your home turns into a bunker. You make supplies of water, food, and your furniture is set up so that you have a chance to get out of there if the house collapses. We live in a part of town where there are no shelters. It never occurred to us that we may need something like that. We are a city of enterprises, there is a lot of hairdressers and other services offered to people. Only men and old people remained. They do not allow men to leave and the elders have no reason, or no longer have the health and strength to leave their home. They just sit at home and hope that everything will end soon.” 

“We wanted to leave earlier, but we were waiting for a transcript of the car we were buying. We had to wait a very long time due to hacker attacks. We could have left before, but without a car and with only one backpack? Mom was getting nervous, the situation was getting worse. Fortunately, we had food, and there was plenty of it in the city. Maybe there will be no famine. We also brought a few kilograms of groats and oil here. We also used to make our own wine, I have about 40 vine bushes. This year we will have to drink wine from the store. I didn't believe we would have to leave until the last moment. Children especially have it difficult, they can't even learn properly. Those who stayed at home have intermittent hours at all times due to air raid alarms. Those who are here do not understand the local language. A friend told me how her son was sent to a Polish school and had to go to all classes, although he did not understand anything. I believe I can do it, it just takes time. I will also have to learn Greek.” 

“All my friends who could have left. The men remained fighting. It used to be a city with one million people living there, but now? The latest statistics show that 200,000 people have already left the city. Personally, I think it's more. Odessa was a relatively rich city and so far safe. The president and mayor are asking everyone not to return yet. It's not safe there. Tomorrow I will go get the paperwork done and look for a job. My mother is already 67 years old, they probably won't give her a job anywhere. She previously worked on a ship and later as a technical support on television. She has 2 children and has worked for many years, so she was able to retire ten years ago. She works in the garden all summer and helps with her grandson. So she has something to do. Previously, my son could go out and take the fresh air in by the sea. Today, there is nothing, no air, no sea, no fruits and vegetables.” 

“I don't know what I'm going to do here without knowing the language. I'll probably work in the plant. I’m educated with work experience, but I'm going to have to work hard. The main thing is that I will work. If I make a living, it will be fine. Slovak and Ukrainian are very similar. If people talk to me slowly, I understand.” 

“We like it here, the park is also nice here and Billa store is opposite. Just so we have money to pay with. My mom brought 3 wallets with her, although I don't know what she’s. Going to need them for. She has money in one, documents in the other and I don’t know what she has in the third one, maybe her memories.” 

“My cousin has been working here for 2 years. He was waiting for us here so he could translate for us. He has already learned the language. When we came here, everything was new to us. I have never been driving outside the Odessa region. I didn't even know how to drive on roundabouts. I'm not used to it. I immediately felt dizzy from fatigue and from so many road signs. We knew we had to have a lot of gas with us in case we got lost, I don't know how we would get here. The car is not new, it is 15 years old. During the trip, air alarm alerts kept popping up on our phones.” 

“We used navigation on the way, but the Russians? They still use paper maps from the time of the USSR. Those do not indicate that trenches may not be dug in the Chernobyl zone. Then they were taken to hospitals and doctors could not go near them, only in protective suits. They were so radioactive that one could fry eggs on them. They did not take them home, but to Belarus. That's how Putin takes care of his people. He is not sorry for anyone. According to him, 25 thousand dead mean no loss. We have already sunk 2 Russian ships and damaged several others. Therefore, they will be angry and shoot at Odessa tomorrow again. We hear stories about the heroic deeds of our people, such as a girl with wounded both legs who drove 30 km to bring people to safety. The Russians also control the Zaporozhye nuclear power plants. If something happens there, it will harm Ukraine. The Russians thought that they would be welcomed everywhere, especially in the east of Kharkiv. But people are resisting, the Russians certainly didn't expect that. Even those who once wanted to go to Russia would not go there now. They say they have no future in Russia, that they are no longer brothers to them. They thought that they could divide Ukraine on a linguistic basis, but thanks to them, even in those regions where Ukrainian has never been spoken, our language is now being heard. The funny thing is, in Cherson, where Ukrainian was never spoken, the Russians posted a sign "and now you can speak Russian." Everyone laughs at it. Now they can speak Russian freely, under the protection of the Kalashnikov.” 

“It's hard to say what's going on in the old man's head, but most likely it's an offended ego. Somebody must have insulted him somewhere, did not praise him. He wants a bigger crown, a higher throne. But even if he gets it, what will he get out of it? He would like to recreate the USSR, but no one wants to return to it. They took everything from us, weapons, ships, with our cannons they will shoot at us now. They mined the Black Sea, but they say we did it. Only people from the Far East and the Caucasus - Chechens - are fighting against us. The Russians stayed at home in Moscow and St. Petersburg. The Belarusians are also against us, even though they are not fighting so much. Their "freely" elected president said, "Good thing we have this regime, I can now impose the death penalty." They treat their nation as if the people could not choose anyone else. I don't understand who wrote the script for them there. Before the war, I tried to follow the Russian news. But the nonsense they tell there couldn't be looked at. When the Russians were captured by our soldiers, they could call their parents and tell them what was happening in Ukraine. There was also a case where a Russian mother told her son not to call her, that she did not have a son, she said she only had a daughter. That's awful!” 

“The Russians I have been in contact with, despite all the sanctions, do not support Ukraine's position. According to them, Ukraine did not exist during the USSR, so why should it exist now? I don't understand why anyone should decide about my existence. I blocked them all. What can I talk to them about? Let them improve their knowledge of history. But how could they learn the history, when everything is written according to Putins' orders? I have experienced it myself, one year we learned one thing at school, and the next year it was the other way around. Then there is no way for the people to understand what really happened. But everyone knows there were Cossacks, that there was a Party. You have no freedom of thought in Russia. As the saying goes - you have no choice, you eat what you have in the fridge. I teach my daughter that she has a brain in her head to think, and that her head is not there to be pretty.”