Elenka (40)

May 4, 2023, Bratislava. Day 434 of the war.

Within a year, she managed to move to a new country, learn a new language, and go through a long journey. Today, she has everything she needs and no longer has to ask anyone for anything. She is a very strong woman, inspiring and motivating all of us. Her daughter Kira was already speaking fluent Slovak after six months and now corrects her mother's language. Kira's dream is to become a painter, and her mother's only dream is for her daughter to grow up in safety, with the word "war" absent from her vocabulary and memory.

"I'm from the Donetsk region. I used to live there with my husband, daughter, and son, who has been studying at a high school in Slovakia for three years now. When we fled Ukraine due to the war, Slovakia automatically became our destination. I was already here in 2020 when my son started studying here. In Ukraine, we lived in a mining town. Originally, there were two mines, but now only one is operational. My husband had his own business, but now he works in the mine because the business doesn't function anymore. Back home, I worked as an accountant, and our company collaborated with entrepreneurs. I was supposed to register 10 new companies. I already had allocated dates in the registry. On February 24, I didn't watch TV in the morning, so I didn't know what had happened. I woke up, got my daughter ready, and it seemed like an ordinary day for me. When I got to work, the business registry wasn't functioning. I called to ask if they were working, and they told me nothing was working and that I should wait. I waited for about an hour, and then my boss came and told me that the war had started. I didn't know about it for several hours. Nothing was happening in our area at that time. The fighting was taking place in Kyiv, Sumy, mainly in the northern part of Ukraine."

"When my boss told us, I didn't want to believe it. We didn't work that day anymore. My parents and friends live far away, so we called each other to find out if everyone was okay. In a few days, my son was supposed to come home; he already had a plane ticket. Thank God he didn't fly. He's not yet 18, but planes weren't flying anymore, so he would have to travel in a different way. My husband couldn't leave. He couldn't continue with the business he had been doing. He had worked in the mines in the past, so it was nothing new for him, but since the beginning of the war, he has been working twice as much. He used to work 6 hours, and now he works 12 hours a day. And he has been doing it for a year."

"Our city was safe, but rockets were flying all around. We waited for a month; on TV, they said it would last only 3 weeks and everything would end. When it didn't end, I decided that we would go to Slovakia. It wasn't possible to buy tickets for a regular train anymore, so we left on an evacuation train from Dnipro. We traveled by car to get there. We arrived at the main station; there were many people there. We managed to get on the train and waited for about two hours. There are 4 beds in a compartment, but there were 10 of us. We traveled for 3 days. First to Lviv, then to Uzhhorod. The father of my son's friend helped us. He gave us food, we stayed overnight at their place, he took care of us. In the morning, he drove us to the bus station, from where we went to Kosice, where we met our son. It was difficult; I wouldn't be able to do it again. But I knew I had to do it for my daughter."

"The first night, we stayed at a hostel. At the main station, we registered with a request for accommodation because my son used to live in the dormitory. A lady named Elena offered us accommodation, and we are immensely grateful to her. She's an ordinary Slovak family, a couple who had one vacant room in their house after their daughter moved out to live independently. They offered us her room. They accepted us and helped us."

"For the first few months, I didn't speak much Slovak. I could understand only a little. I started working right away. I didn't know if my husband would be able to financially support us so that we could stay here for a few months and I could study Slovak. I knew that without Slovak, I wouldn't be able to find a decent job. I've always worked with my mind, but in the end, I found a job as a cleaner at a school. However, I developed an allergy, and I was feeling very unwell. I asked Elena if we could stay with them for a few more months so that I could continue my studies. They welcomed us back. We stayed with them from July until November, which was enough time for me to learn the language and find a job. In November, I started working."

"At home, we had a 3-bedroom apartment, two cars, we had jobs, we had everything. Now, I have an apartment that I rent here. In Slovakia, I have met many good people. I never thought that so many people would be willing to help us. In the past, I never had to ask for anything. We always had a place to live, we always had jobs. Suddenly, we found ourselves in a situation where we had nothing. We came here with one small suitcase, two pairs of pants, and a few shirts. I will be forever grateful to Elena. We still talk on the phone, we visited them, and I'm looking forward to when she comes to visit us. They took care of us like our parents. I will never forget what they did for us."

"Coming to a foreign country and starting from scratch is difficult. You don't know the language. You can't communicate, you can't work properly. You can't ask anything, you don't understand the answers. You're like a deaf mute. You have to ask. I have never had to ask for anything in my life. I helped others, but I never asked for anything for myself. We didn't have that need. It was hard to ask for accommodation and humanitarian aid. Thank God, today I no longer need anything for free. Let the help go to those who need it; there are many of them. For example, mothers who have young children and can't work or sick people. I have received all the help I needed, a big thanks to the Slovaks and Slovakia! Working as a cleaner was also challenging, not because it was physically demanding, but it was emotionally challenging for me. It's not the job I want to do."

"I studied Slovak every day. I managed to meet my current manager, Tana, who is also from Ukraine. She offered me a job; she needed someone in payroll. I didn't know anything, I couldn't understand, I wasn't familiar with anything. The first month was terrible. Tana showed me the computer and the software I had to work with. I didn't know the laws; I didn't understand anything, but gradually, I learned everything. I struggle with problems every day. Every day, I encounter something new. I have to keep learning because there are new amendments to the laws all the time. But now I understand, and I know where to find the necessary information. I'm not as stressed anymore."

"We didn't expect to stay here for so long; we thought we would return home soon. But then we started thinking about staying here, and if possible, my husband would come to join us. I don't see a possibility of a normal life for us in Ukraine. Even after the war ends, the economic situation won't be easy. Everything will be expensive. My mom tells me that everything is already more expensive, at least double the prices."

"My son doesn't want to go back anymore. Kira has been studying here for the second year. I like Slovakia, and I want to live here. I don't want to go back. It will take a long time for the war to end, and it will take decades to rebuild everything again. I don't have that much time. I don't want my daughter to live such a difficult life there; I want things to be easier for her, and she is doing well here. She attends a good school, has a good teacher and caretaker. We looked for an apartment near her school. We stayed in a hostel, in a dormitory, and eventually, we managed to rent this apartment. The owner, Mr. Tomas, has been very kind to us. Kira goes to school on her own, and I can go to work."

"Kira understood everything. During air attacks, we had to go hide in the basement. We didn't have sirens, but we received messages on our phones telling us to seek shelter. We didn't have our own basement. Our building has 12 apartments, and we had a common room downstairs. Each resident contributed something, brought a bed, a mattress, blankets, food, water... The children saw everything and asked what was happening. We made sure the children treated it like a game. They watched cartoons, drew pictures. Kira understood why, how, what was happening. I wanted her to experience the journey in a normal way, not in stress. On the way, we drew, played various tabletop games. Children don't need to see or hear it. Now everything is fine. I have a job, an apartment; Kira has school, my son is studying, the children have friends."

"My father passed away five years ago, and my mother and mother-in-law stayed there. My mother also works in the mines, and my mother-in-law lost her job. When they announced the evacuation in the Donetsk region, she went to Dnipro to be with her daughter. She was there for a few months and lost her job during that time. Now she is unemployed. My mother didn't want to come here. I called her and my mother-in-law to come here, that it would be better and easier for us, that they could accompany Kira to school, and I could work more. Only the two of us came. One friend went to Poland, where her husband was working. Another friend went to Germany. We talk on the phone every week. We wanted to meet, but traveling is expensive for me. So, we can't meet for now. Maybe with time, we'll be able to."

"At home, they have gotten used to rockets and planes flying over them every day. Every evening I talk to my husband, and in the morning, I talk to my mother. When it's calm, he can go outside because there's better internet there. He always tells me that he sees rockets flying. I ask him how he can be calm. New Year's Eve was terrible for me; the sounds of fireworks reminded me of low-flying planes. They have already gotten used to it, but I haven't."

"When we were at home, rockets flew over our heads. Kira was scared, and I told her it was a train. One rocket hit a nearby house, and nothing was left of it. They bombed another house, but fortunately, people survived. All the windows in the area were shattered. The neighbouring town wasn't so lucky. The Russians don't only shoot at military targets. A missile can hit you anytime; nowhere are you safe."

"I don't understand what happened. Who needed this war? War is terrible. I don't understand what we did to anyone, especially what they did to innocent children. How many people, soldiers, civilians, children had to die unnecessarily? Why are they dying? I don't have an answer to that."

"I don't think it's normal to die like this. Everyone should die a natural death. Live their lives, raise children, grandchildren, and then die. Too many Ukrainian men have already died. It will take at least 20 years to give birth to as many sons. Today, giving birth is dangerous. It's not enough to give birth to a child; you have to raise them, help them with school, housing. Today, there's great uncertainty! I used to know that I would have children, a home, grandchildren, a little garden. But today? Nobody knows what will happen, and there's nothing worse than such uncertainty."

"I didn't bring anything special with me because we didn't have space in the suitcase. Kira brought her stuffed cow because I told her she couldn't take many toys. But now we have everything; we can buy everything we need."

"I would like to say to people who come to Slovakia because of the war that there are plenty of good people here. Yes, there are also bad people, but there are far fewer of them. And most importantly, they shouldn't give up. They need to persevere, strive, and pursue their dreams. They mustn't lose motivation. Our motivation is our children. It is necessary to have the will to live. It doesn't mean just surviving, but truly living life. Many people are lost and don't know what to do. They have to find that strength within themselves. When I look back, I don't know if I could handle it again. But today, it's easier; I have calmed down. I have to take care of my daughter, learn the language, and dedicate myself to her to give her a beautiful childhood. Children give us the strength to live. Even if you don't have children, you must have a sense of purpose in life, motivation to keep going, to move forward."